Building bridges one family at a time….

defiance can be created at home

Have you stopped listening to what is being said? Have you placed your son or daughter in the “been there done that so it will always be and never change” chair?

Well don’t. Just stop it! Stop having your child sit in the same chair, over and over and over and expect your child to grow and react appropriately.

Listen to what is in their heart. Don’t question it, just listen pure and deeply from the heart! God’s great and sweet command. God’s love for us is unconditional. He does not compare us. He does not belittle us. He does not criticize us. He just loves us and meets us right where we are. I am so thankful for that.

When you wonder if your love is appropriate, you ask God to step into your place and show you how it is done. Parents………….. our kids need to feel loved, validated, connected, and YES understood.

It may not make sense but when we seek out perfection of our children; we are enforcing limits and expectations.

—-They don’t need more limits.

Teach them to walk Godly, teach them to love God, help them build character that loves and strengthens others.

Teach them to love you.

I think appropriate consequences are just fine but be careful not to confuse those with consequences because of a personal standard of your own upbringing that was not met or fulfilled.

Don’ts:

  • When a child hears, “well you always” Look how ______does it. See how she does it better. Do it that way.
  •  What has just been most likely heard, is that they are not good enough.
  •  Don’t compare.
  • Encourage, build each other up. Focus on the positive.

Always and never is a huge no no in Parenting. Get rid of these words. Actually get rid of them from your vocabulary. Replace them with loving words that empower, encourage and show kindness.

When they internalize that they ‘always and they never’………. they tend to defy.

Love eachother pure and deeply from the heart.

Blessings

-Marie

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2 Responses »

  1. So what happens if you feel you have connected and understood them,but at the time they are just agreeing with you. They did not leave on the same page as you did. Then what would be the next step?

  2. You Have planted a seed: Halleluiah! You know sometimes I will say something to my girls and I either get a rebuttle, opinion, more rebuttle and more opinion….. It could be months later that I see that seed has grown. God is constantly growing our hearts and when he does, those seeds that moms plant grow into beautiful blooms of Godly character. Keep planting Concha. love you!

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