Building bridges one family at a time….

Haroldina and The Tree that was Not Just a Tree and Harold and The Tree that was Just a Tree!

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect
couple’ comes together. It is when an ‘Imperfect couple’ learns to enjoy their
differences.” –Dave Meurer

A Tree is Really not Just a Tree that Could be Nothing More than Just a Tree!

While walking along a beautiful river one day, I stopped and took yet one more picture of a tree. My husband who sees that very same tree says, “honey, it’s just a tree.” We had two completely different perspectives. I could not understand how he could not see the history and the beauty of those roots and branches, and let me tell you, it was exquisite! He thought I had gone bonkers.

Harold in Crockett Johnson’s (1983) “Harold and the Purple Crayon” drew his world according to how he sees it, and when an obstacle arose, he simply drew himself out of that situation. Wow! How nice it would be, if only impasses in relationships were like that.

We enter into our marriages with personal outlook, and most often it is not a joint view. Half the fight is girding yourself to win and conquer. What is it that we are winning though? Perhaps it is that one  thinks that their perspective is better than the other. The thing is that when one of you becomes focused to win, you both lose. No one really wins when two perspectives are in conflict. 

Another possibility is that one may view an ‘ideal marriage’ as one where their partner will see things their way. Folks, that most often will not happen. Harold was a lone drawer. There was no Haroldina.

 In a marriage, it needs to be a win win for both. That means two perspectives are drawn out, and the story accomodates those two views into one marriage.

Another possibility when a lonesome drawer is at work, is that one may not allow for any imperfections. There is not a whole lot of flexibility in these drawings. These relational images are constructed through past family issues, relationships, and expectations. For example, we may have had damaging upbringings that left us scarred, and thus we make strong intro-statements that are headstrong and unchanging.

So a tree is really not just a tree BUT it could happen to be just a tree after all.

 Remember that “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect
couple’ comes together. It is when an ‘Imperfect couple’ learns to enjoy their

Folks, don’t be a Harold in your marriage. Learn how to use two crayons and create an Artful marriage. Imagine what beautiful stories you will design together.

 Love & Hugs Marie (Haroldina)


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