I married someone who I have nothing in common with. Wrong!
In Christ, you will always have something in common. God is the glue that binds us and sustains us through the many challenges one faces in their marriage. David and I have been together since I was 15 years old, and we had nothing in common. He was athletic, I was in Choir. He was popular and I was a nerdy teen. Our families brought us up in church. It was that upbringing that became the foundation of our marriage. For many years I tried to change David to be more like me. He hoped that I would eventually learn to play baseball and volleyball. We were so completely opposite. My idea of a date was a theatrical play or an orchestra recital. His idea of a date was a baseball game and a movie. How did two kids who had nothing in common manage to say ‘I do’? Crazy as it sounds, they married. Through the years what saved us as a couple is the revelation that David cannot be like me. I cannot be like him. We can however embrace our differences and have fun trying new things together. I wasn’t his soul mate. He wasn’t my soul mate. Through the years we have become each other’s soul mate. I found out all sorts of things that are exciting and pleasing to him, and I have made it my business to discover his likes and his dislikes. In doing so I am able to create an atmosphere that is pleasing to him.
Discovering that you realize you have nothing in common with the one you married has ended so many marriages. Realistically you can’t have everything in common with someone else. God designed us each with a very unique DNA. When you learn to love that sense of uniqueness, you really love what God has created. When you look at each other with eyes of discovery, you fuel the flames of intimacy.
What are you waiting for? Go discover your spouse and embrace how unique and exquisite he/she is.
-Ann Marie Godines, MS LPC
Marriage and Family Therapist and Ordained Minister
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